


Jealousy is the Fear of Comparison

by 2_Ava



Series: Hear Me Out Universe [4]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Deaf Character, Deaf!Roger, M/M, Nervous John, Oops, Probably cannot be read standalone, some cute shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 03:54:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18335666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2_Ava/pseuds/2_Ava
Summary: John gets jealous of Roger’s maintained friendship with his ex-boyfriend, Peter.[Hear Me Out Universe // AKA Deaf!Roger]





	Jealousy is the Fear of Comparison

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another one shot for Hear Me Out - probably won't make any sense if you haven't read the main. Sorry :) x

Roger and Peter had remained really good friends - and John couldn't complain. It meant Roger had that connection to someone that understood him, which John knew he desperately craved. But, being the nervous and over-analytical person he was, he couldn't help but let his stomach twist up when he saw them together. Like right now, the lot of them - sans Freddie - were hanging out in Roger and Brian's apartment, and it had been fairly uneventful, until Roger and Peter had decided to watch a movie while Brian and John fiddled with the amp that John had crafted the week prior. The longer they sat at the table, the more John could feel his palms getting clammy watching Roger and Peter getting marginally closer and closer on the couch. It had been a year since Roger and Peter broke up, and Roger had undoubtedly assured John that he didn't have feelings for Peter; and John believed him - he really did. But, that didn't mean he didn't feel a bit sick when he looked at the way they looked at each other, and smiled when the other was signing. 

"John; stop torturing yourself - it's nothing and you know that." Brian said, placing a firm hand on John's forearm. John groaned. 

"I know! But, look at them!" John said loudly, tipping his head back as he grumbled. "They're just so perfect for each other." He muttered. 

"But they're not." Brian chuckled, causing John to look up at him a little confused. "If they were perfect for each other, they would still be together; but they're not - Roger's with you." John looked the taller man over with a twisted mouth. 

"Yeah, but-" John began, before being immediately silenced. 

"But, nothing. Roger loves you - without a shadow of a doubt." Brian grinned, giving John a wink. "He just likes having that connection - and you know that." John nodded slowly, turning to look back at Roger and Peter. "Stop it. I can see what you're doing to yourself - you're psyching yourself out, and you need to stop." Brian said sternly; John turned back around with a deflated sigh. 

"Do you think Peter still likes Roger?" John mumbled, casting his eyes down to where his hands were nervously toying with the machinery before him. 

“What does it matter? As long as Roger doesn't like Peter…” Brian said softly. “Which he doesn’t.” He added, eyeing John with a stern gaze. 

“I know it’s mean… but I kind of wish they didn’t stay friends.” John muttered, his lips twisting tightly in an attempt to not let out the tears welling up in his eyes. He felt a careful hand land on his, and he looked up to see Bran giving him the most genuinely empathetic look he thought Brian was capable of. “Do you think there’s something going on?” John mumbled, resulting in a look of seeming alarm from Brian. 

“Are you crazy, John – do you actually think that Roger would fuck you over like that?” Brain said rather forcefully, and John felt as if it was more in an attempt to protect Roger than make John feel better – which was usual for Brian. 

“I don’t... I’m sorry; it just makes me nervous.” John admitted, casting his eyes at his hands again, not letting his body move an inch until he felt careful hands fall on his shoulder. He looked up to see Roger standing behind him, giving him a wide grin as he began to massage John’s neck and shoulders. John leaned back so that his head was against Roger’s chest, and Roger’s hands slipped down so they were clasped just under John’s neck. John let his eyes fall shut for a while, simply enjoying having Roger so close. He remained like that for what was probably close to five minutes, until he felt rather forceful lips again his. He let himself felt into what was most likely Roger – or at least he hoped, and smiled into the kiss. Once they had pulled apart, he looked up at Roger with a wide smile; however, Roger just moved around to crouch in front of him, deep concern in his expression.

_Why would you think that I still have feelings for Peter?_ Roger signed with furrowed brows. John shot him a guilty look and allowed his eyes to float to Brian, who remained emotionally uninvested at this point. Part of him wanted to curse Brian for telling Roger what he’d said while he wasn’t looking, but he knew that Brian was always going to have Roger’s back first, and anyone else’s second. _John, tell me; this is important to me. Do you not want us to be friends anymore?_ Roger asked, worry in his sweet and feminine face. It was moments like this, where John cursed Roger’s delicate face; he compared it somewhat to making a baby cry; and Roger was soon learning it was the easiest way to get John to do whatever he wanted. Despite that, this didn’t feel manipulative; all he could read for genuine concern from Roger. 

“I’m sorry.” John whispered, feeling so terrible for even considering the notion of something going on between Roger and Peter. “You two are just so close and you get each other, and I was letting myself get so worked up about it. I’m really sorry, Roger; I didn’t mean to upset you.” John signed, immediately averting his gaze afterwards. Without even acknowledging what he’d said, Roger had pulled John up from his seat at the dining table, and was pulling him through to Roger’s bedroom, presumably for some privacy. 

_John – you get me._ Roger signed, earning a slightly puzzled look from John. _I didn’t want to say this while we were out there; but, I don’t have feelings for Peter – none whatsoever. I’m really, so sorry if I made you feel that way. Say the word, and I’ll stop hanging out with him._ Roger signed, with more seriousness than ever other word Roger had uttered in his life combined. John quickly shook his head at the notion of Roger ignoring Peter simply because John said so.

“I wouldn’t ask that of you. I just get so damn worried about it; I feel like I’m never going to be able to what Peter was for you.” John signed, struggling to maintain eye contact with Roger when all he really wanted to do was cry.

_You mean an ex-boyfriend? I’d like to hope you’ll never be that._ Roger smirked, and John couldn’t help but give him that same unforced smile he gives Roger when he makes jokes that he really shouldn’t be making. _I love you._ Roger signed, his own smile getting wider as he watching John’s expression change from a forcibly held back smile, to pure bliss. 

“I love you too, Roger.” John smiled widely.


End file.
